For Jessica Newman to sit more comfortably in her seat of power, secure her “voice,” and grow, she chooses to engage and move past the pain around her father’s absence. Exploring this pain supports her in protecting her Black Girl Magic. I digress, I first met this sista when she was in high school. She was one of the dancers in Love Does Not Hurt, a play that I co-wrote, what feels like many moons ago. She could dance her arse off and she was sooooo full of life. I saw the determination in her eyes and she was driven. Since then, Jessica went on to graduate from high school, college and grad school. I am so very proud of this young lady and was pleased when she agreed to be a guest bloomer. This bloomer was the first sista to respond to how do you protect your Black Girl Magic by addressing her “daddy wound.” Continue reading…
Black girl blooming,
Black girl magic is worth preserving. Being raised by a strong Black woman who had to make lemonade out of lemons, I watched women who were wonder women, super women, and un-malleable. Despite the lack of support from men, lack of resources in our neighborhoods, and low socioeconomic status, my mom, grandma, and aunts made a way out of no way. My black girl magic is inherited. It is because of them that I can…
The strength that was bestowed upon me, helped me through my masters program and moving cross country. The love that was instilled in me, helped me radically love others and myself.
What I grew to learn eventually was that these women, who I thought to be superwomen, were too human and faced times of pain, disappointment, hardships, and sadness. Like Jessie Williams stated, “‘Just Because We’re Magic, Does Not Mean We’re Not Real,’ it was understanding the pain behind my family that I understood I would need to reflect and confront my pain to tap into another level of my Black Girl Magic.
Thus, the way I’m practicing to protect this inherited Black Girl Magic is through continued healing. In 2016, one of my goals was to restore my relationship with my father. As a child, I was covered and protected by the love of my womyn-dominated family. My father wasn’t around and grew to be a non-factor. However, through plenty of reflection, I grew to learn that this specific broken relationship was decreasing my full capacity of Black Girl Magic, so I aimed to restore the broken relationship.
Even though he hasn’t been around for any major events in my life, perhaps he can save me from broken relationships, come to my wedding, or eventually watch his grandkids. So, I had to be completely honest about the pain of him not being around, I needed to communicate that pain to him, and most importantly I had to forgive. That’s exactly what I did (it sounds easier writing it than how it actually occurred) and I learned so much more along the way. I didn’t realize the same place I once found pain could also be the same place I find love and restoration. The most important thing I learned is that continued healing is vital to holding and manifesting this inherited Black Girl Magic.
Also, #Selfcare has become a radical movement for me now, more so than ever. However, as I’ve moved almost 2,000 thousand miles away from home I’ve understood the importance of community care. My Black Girl Magic is intertwined with the well being of my loved ones. Understanding when to say ‘No’ or when to heal is how I’m preserving my Black Girl Magic. Restoring the relationship between me and my father has not been an easy journey but, we have both committed to trying and through this love and courageous act of healing I feel as though my Black Girl Magic is not only on fleek and protected by myself, my family who raised me, but now my father as well.
To all the Black womyn out there, save some of that Black Girl Magic for you and sprinkle it on yourself. You’ll probably find that it helps your family or community around you even more. As the flight attendants say, “Put your oxygen mask on first.”
What are you doing to save and heal yourself? I believe when I’m healing and saving myself, I am too saving and healing my village. Traveling, getting my nails done, reading, meditating, dancing, coloring, painting, exercising, talking to my family, and listening to music is how I practice healing and restoration to preserve my #BGM. What do you do to preserve and protect your Black Girl Magic?
Jessica Newman is a Girl from the Southside of Chicago now spreading her Black Girl Magic in the Central Coast of California as the Coordinator of the Cross Cultural Center at Cal State Monterey Bay. She is an educator and administrator of social justice education. Her passion for creating inclusive environments for underserved and underrepresented students on college campuses is what drove her to Higher Education. She uses her Black Girl Magic to create social and systemic change within Higher Education.