Putting on my crown and reminding myself of my soul-knowings

photograph by nicole jhan'rea (c)2017

(Unedited) Possibly it’s the only child in me or the creative in me or the extroverted introvert in me, but in these moments I have to block out the noise, the commentary…the bullshit. It is when I am still that I realize that “folk” [all people, places, things…zone snatchers, etc!] coming for me, ain’t really coming, for me, they coming for “the Light.” They’re attempting to dim “the Light.”

 

In the words of James Baldwin, “My crown has already been bought and paid for, all I have to do is put it on my head.” I was meant to be, HERE, and as this quote reminds me of my meant to be’ness, I elevate above all adversity and naysayers. In these moments of folk cometh for me, I have to stretch all out like that wild-sleeping-child who in their small frame takes up the breadth of the bed, spreading through the four corners. In these moments, I have to lay-out wide upon the Greatest I Am, surrender and be rejuvenated by Grace & Favor, cos there is no way that I could navigate this thing called life, and have peace of mind and spirit without my soul-knowings.

 

E’ryday, I gotta put on my crown and remind myself of my soul-knowings.

 

I am never alone, even when I am with myself.

 

I digress…

 

Aug. 15, 2017.  4:22am. Up early in meditation. Sweet surrender. Stillness. Tapping into wellness. The reservoir of quiet. There’s a song that says, “He’s a wonder in my soul…” …  …  …  …  …  …

 

There is time and space where semantics don’t get overshadowed by the soul-knowing that God cares and the Universe & ancestors are not only, always…always…always on my side, but they have my best interest at heart. I love the saying, “I am my ancestors wildest dreams…” It’s empowering to know that there were beings before me who loved on me & the possibilities of me long before I was conceived in the flesh. They’d conceived me in their hearts and loved me enough to die and fight for my freedom. To know that my personal ancestors and our cultural ancestors had me, us, in mind many suns and moons ago, creates a real sense of safety.

 

At my core I have a deep understanding and regard for the truths of God, Universe… ancestors, and I don’t get caught up in the semantics of what us humons have deemed as a Living God. Arguments like, does God exist, is God a he or she, is God Black or white, does God let bad stuff happen, Is there a Universe…Though I can articulate my views on having a God that reflects me Womon & Black, believing in a Universe that aligns with my “tuning forks” and conspires to support me in being the best version of me I can be, and that I’m grounded in a knowing that I am supported by ancestors, I understand these things are rooted in my personal relationship with these entities, and that others also want to see their reflection in the Greatest I Am.

 

Life, sometimes, not merely gets in the way, but gets so heavy that if I am not careful I forget, not forget, but get consumed with stuff that get me stuck or not tapping into my soul-knowings. But we have choices to make. I have to choose God…Universal laws…Ancestors everyday and in choosing the wholeness of these entities I choose myself. I am responsible for reminding myself of this daily, that’s my responsibility and for me, I have to do that in stillness and in quiet.

 

E’ryday, I gotta put on my crown and remind myself of my soul-knowings.

 

I am never alone, even when I am with myself.

 

Blooming,

nicole jhan’rea

 

#SheBloomsBlack   #Crowned

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